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My Plans for World Domination – Mercredi Express #16

Noble Pig
“Noble Pig” 3″ x 5″ oil on panel
I am enjoying the heck out of the new “Loki” series currently running on Disney+ — The writers are focusing on his character as a Lord of Misrule, a “mischievous scamp,” more than a generic blood-thirsty-would-be-tyrant-of-the-universe. At one point, the bureaucrat Mobius who has captured Loki, asks him what he wants, what he’d do if released, what a Big Picture Win looks like. Loki wants to rule all of Midgard (Earth) to which Mobius replies, Ok then you’d be happy? Loki’s vision undergoes a bit of scope creep as he imagines larger and larger conquests before he has self-realization. (Spoilers omitted) From his actions at least in the first two episodes, Loki really just likes to thumb his nose at authority and mess up the clear boundaries of any power structure.

And since it’s my birthday month, I’m reminded to review my own Big Picture Win, my own Plan for World Domination, so to speak. It’s hard to get what you’ve always wanted if you’re not entirely clear about exactly what you’ve always wanted. Come to find out, my Big Picture Win doesn’t really resemble World Domination very much at all. I’m told that, astrologically, I am a Gemini with a Gemini Rising, and I’m further told that it means I like to talk with people. (A trait I evidently share with Loki) My “Gemininity” is a fun metaphor that I more or less embrace, except on those dark depressive times when I want to hide under my pillows — I am an intermittent extrovert at best. Success in my art and maybe generally in my life resembles the opportunity for good conversations.

Granted, I have a pretty darned nice “job” that at a specific certain point I claimed as a “career.” I get a living wage, health care, even a modest pension (!), reasonable and rewarding working conditions. I used to beat myself up using that Steve Jobs commencement quotation about finding a career you love… until I woke up and read it backwards: I chose to LOVE the job I had and I turned it into a career. I work at an alternative high school and I’ve grown to care passionately about the loveable troubled misfit students we serve. The steady paycheck is a privilege and the meaningful work is just a blessing added on top.

And I have had a vocation, a calling, to tell stories since I was a child. My bread-work gig funds my vocation. Success at this vocation means getting to keep making meaningful work AND verbally processing that work with others.

I do not want to minimize the “infinite game” aspect of success. Are you familiar with the idea of “finite” and “infinite” games? Finite games have a specific end and frequently a particular winner. One usually plays a finite game in order to “win.” An infinite game has no pre-defined end, no final victory conditions. Like a game of catch with a loving parent, an infinite game gives satisfaction on and on. Like that game of catch, I want to keep making and interacting creatively with this Cosmos for as long as possible. What this looks like on a daily basis is some time spent in the Workshop, some time in the Studio, some time spent reflecting. The proportions change from day to day, and this pattern is my ideal infinite game.

And “because” I’m a Gemini (LOL) success also means better conversations. I want to know people I can call when I am having a specific problem, or who I can share the word with when I hear about a call for art or who I can bounce a particularly “creative” idea off without judgment and with the possibility of a productive game of catch breaking out. I want a Tribe, a chatty, noisy, sometimes brooding and introspective group of folks who “get” what I’m doing. They need not be makers, they could be “fans.” I do NOT need their money due to my breadwork gig… and I realize that in this culture we symbolize ALL value in terms of money, even when we think we’re not.

What does this look like?

— I had a piece in a small gallery show a couple years ago. My work had sold even before I arrived on opening night, which is a definite win… and the HIGHLIGHT of the night was getting to chat with the other artists. Sometimes small talk, sometimes about process, sometimes about the bigger horizons of engaging the tragic and glorious culture of Detroit and what’s “art” for anyway…

– I wrote a book of “marriage poems” with my partner that was published a few years back by a cool small press. A passion project. At a writer’s convention, on the basis of this book, we were invited to a room party for other authors published on this press. IT WAS A BLAST. There were literal rockstars in the room (who were also poets) and novelists and anthologists and the conversation was easy and nourishing and fun. (OK so it was also a little bit like getting asked to sit at the “cool kids’ table” in the high school lunchroom, I won’t lie LOL)

I do NOT want to have conversations ONLY about how to MAKE the art; I want to talk about what it means. I wan to make those kinds of big picture conversations easy. Once upon a time, I was a nerdy kid who would wait after rock shows to talk with the band… and all I could think to talk about were stupid things like what kind of strings they used. I think I really wanted to connect and ask “How did you believe in yourself enough to step onstage? If you could write a song about ANYTHING what would it be? Have you ever had a song that just got away from you or that went wrong and what did you do?..”

One of my FAVORITE movies is “Children of Men” and aside from the visual storytelling and bleakly inspirational theme, on the DVD the VERY FIRST bonus feature is a documentary where important thinkers discuss the TOPIC of the movie as if what the movie is ABOUT might actually be important. Sure there are behind-the-scenes featurettes too but I just loved the sense that the meaning of the work is more than the technique and tricks of making the work.

So that’s my Big Picture and I’m glad you’ve signed up to accompany me along the way. My creative work succeeds best when I can connect with the people that IT connects with.
WHAT’S YOUR BIG PICTURE WIN? Does it actually involve World Domination?Think about it. Write it down maybe. Making it clearer will make it more possible. It’s OK if the first few drafts come out as what you want to avoid. Just try to turn it around to what you want. Positive statements are best! Imagine pulling up to the drive-in window at the Qwikee Burger and saying “I don’t want fried chicken and I don’t want a brand new hat. And I don’t want a hole in my roof and I don’t want unexpected heartache…” It’ll be a LOT easier to get what you’ve always wanted if you’ve got a positive vision of it. Visions change lives.
Blue Mama Sticker
The special BIRTHDAY celebrations continue in this edition of the newsletter and that means GIFTS! I was delighted and encouraged by all the folks who replied and requested the free artworks I listed in last two week’s Mercredi Express editions. Most are claimed HOWEVER this week I’m giving out merch with my “Blue Mama” tiny goddess painting. She’s kind of my muse and I wrote about her in this previous newsletter. (https://www.jamesfrederickleach.com/2021/03/24/losing-my-head/) I have her likeness printed on magnets (I’ve got one on my fridge) and on stickers (I’ve got one on my phone case.) Want one? Send me a private email telling me if you’d prefer a magnet or a sticker AND your mailing address. I had wanted to run this give-away through my on-line store but I couldn’t figure out a way to “sell” things for free. (Obligatory Link Here)
And in the spirit of birthday giving, feel free to GIVE this newsletter away to someone you think might dig it. And if you have received such a forwarded message, consider joining us with this subscription link: https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/su/jX0Ddba It’s my once-a-week reflection on what it’s like being creative during the past week, designed to help you spot more resources and opportunities you may have overlooked. You in?
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what am i doing? when is it done? – Mercredi Express #12



I missed a deadline… and it led to a revelation.

This year, I’ve been setting Intentions as a broader context to setting Goals. Goals are specific and measurable and often time-bound. Intentions are the bigger picture. If Goals are the rungs of a specific ladder, Intentions help check to make sure the ladder is leaning against the right wall. Both Goals and Intentions can and should be clear and they both require different kinds of questions to achieve that clarity. Intentions get justifiably criticized when they’re used as an excuse not to do any work, when they are confused with wishes.

My intentions are so important to me that they are bigger than me. My intentions are so important that I am glad to make mistakes and to be publicly vulnerable in pursuit of them. My intentions are more valuable to me than any momentary embarrassment.

I’ve been working on a painting for about six weeks, a portrait of someone I know. I’ve had four or five good long sessions on it. The composition generally works; the overall value structure is coming along and there are even passages that I am rather happy with. Whenever I arrange to have an uninterrupted hour to work on it and when there’s a brush in my hand, I pretty reliably become “inspired,” that is, I know where the next brushstrokes have to go.

And I don’t know what I’m doing.

I know how to draw in a sketchbook. I know how to arrange darks and lights on a page to create the illusion of form. I know how to lay in an image, measuring and correcting the drawing for accuracy. I know how to mix paints on a palette to moderate hue, value and saturation.

Generally speaking, I know how to paint. I just don’t know how to paint this particular painting. All I know is that I want to paint something LIKE this painting. This particular canvas might turn out to be that painting, the one I have in my head.

I have this idea: paintings of people engaged in the work that makes them sing, that sustains and delights them. I want to see people in their power and glory, maybe in their favorite locations or places of power, holding the tools of their trade.

A good likeness, sure, that too. But cameras make better likenesses and they do it in a flash. But for the most part, photos only record what is there. I want to paint portraits of what my subjects WANT to be there, their hopes and values, what they are working to achieve in this life.

My project is magic, manifesting dreams or at least making them visible. And it is service to others, people I know and care about, helping them see themselves accomplishing their highest purposes.
I’m not certain if what I want to make are actually “portraits.” I’ve seen too many portraits that feel like tombstones, just the merest birth and death dates, pretty blocks of marble. Portraits that may or may not have looked like a person at a specific point in time but that didn’t have any life or zeal in them. I suspect I want to make something closer to allegorical or narrative paintings. Heck, I think what I’m doing is probably closest to illustration.

And I don’t know how to do this, which has been rather exciting. I have been going back and forth using the different ideas of Goal and Intention because I figure I’ll need to be clear about both. 

One rung I came up with the idea of a “soft commission.” I figured I should not start with someone who is TOO important to me soI made a list of people I admire and respect.  One person’s name felt particularly like the right choice, someone who is creative and able to see possibilities… and might be indulgence of grand experiments. I asked this person if it would be OK if I painted their likeness. Consent is always a good first step. I sketched out the project and admitted I didn’t know exactly how it all would work. I received a strong go ahead. I figured that eventually these empowered portraits would be a collaboration with someone and I needed practice in accountability.

Another rung was to conceive of a work that was modest enough that I might be able to accomplish it. Entrepreneurs call it a minimum viable product. I pared it down to a face, a hand and a phrase… and it fit with another fascination of mine, old vaudeville posters. They’ve been in the back of my mind since a visit I made to the American Magic Museum in Marshal Michigan. http://americanmuseumofmagic.com/  The subject of this piece is, among other things, a stage hypnotist. I sketched until I had a concept I thought I could pull off.

And I then hit the next challenge of turning this intention into actionable goals. I had NO IDEA how long it would take to create this painting. In addition to the life-long pursuit of mastery of paint, I had to learn how to get that pulp illustration feel. So I made up a deadline, one six weeks in the future, May 1st. I worked diligently. When I felt stuck, I would try a charcoal portrait, or a thumbnail sketch. I avoided making mistakes by rushing — one of my favorite bits of advice is to “postpone making mistakes as long as possible.” Come May 1st, I had to send another message to my subject saying that I hadn’t met the “soft deadline” for this “soft commission.” The revelation that I had due to this failure is that I need to come up with a better idea of how I can tell when this particular work is finished. I failed at the Goal and that has inspired me to ask better questions of my guiding Intention. As I write this sentence, I have no idea what the answer might be. These newsletters are a record of what I’ve been busy with during the past week, as much for my own benefit as for the creative folks who read them.

I realize how precious and pompous this all talk of lofty intentions sounds to some people. Maybe to those whose highest hopes have been frustrated, mocked and thwarted. Let me share one of my favorite insights from that fearless, ludicrous playwright Charles Ludlam: “You are a living mockery of your own ideals. If not, you have set your ideals too low.”
HOW ARE YOUR GOALS REALIZING YOUR HIGHER INTENTIONS? Maybe it sounds corny to think about your deeper values. Maybe it’s painful. In fact, it probably is painful. And it’s ultimately fulfilling to consider what your most positive hopes and dreams might be. Scribble them down somewhere. You don’t have to let anyone else see. Or if you want, share them with me. What would those intentions look like as specific goals? We all have had the experience of accomplishing a goal only to find that it wasn’t particularly satisfying. What would be satisfying?
In addition to the obligatory link to my ON-LINE ART STORE — I have a request. If you know someone who might get a kick out of these newsletters, who might be a member of the Tribe, PLEASE OH PLEASE forward it to them. And if you have received such a forwarded message, consider joining us with this subscription link: https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/su/jX0Ddba It’s my once-a-week reflection on what it’s like being creative during the past week, designed to help you spot more resources and opportunities you may have overlooked. You in?